Junk gets in the way

by Doug Crowe
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 9:42 AM MDT

Experts say we all should walk for at least a half-hour every day. That is good advice, and I try to follow it.

I particularly like walking the path along the river. It is a fair distance from my house, so I drive there. That is pretty silly when you think about it.

The point of walking is to burn a few calories and rev up the ol' heart a bit. So why would a person drive somewhere in order to walk for a while?

It seems sillier still in light of the price of gasoline, the pollution problems that stem from automobile emissions and the fact that most of us are overweight!

It would make a lot more sense (economically, environmentally and physically) to just put on your walking shoes, step out your door and take a leisurely stroll through the neighborhood. Unfortunately, at least in my neighborhood, that ain't very likely to work out for you!

By way of illustration, let me recount for you a little experiment I recently conducted. It was pretty simple: I took a random walk from my house, leaving at 10:30 a.m. and returning at 11:30 a.m., and catalogued the obstacles encountered.

Shortly after beginning this odyssey, I had to detour into the street because there was a bookcase and a wheelbarrow blocking the sidewalk. They were there because there was no place in the yard to pile any more junk. Where is the fire marshal when you need him?

In addition to this was a wire kennel abutting the sidewalk, which contained two frantically barking dogs hurling themselves against the wire, spewing spittle in all directions.

I expected Larry the Cable Guy to step out and holler at them, but he didn't show. Neither did any of the six other people whose canine darlings attempted to tear down fences in order to get at me during the remainder of my walk.

A short distance farther on was a house under construction. It has been under construction for more than two years. During this time, the sidewalk has been torn up, with the resulting concrete slabs piled along the curb; there ought to be a law!

Erosion from the as yet uncompleted project has covered the walkway all the way out to the street with up to a foot of mud. My option was to jaywalk or wade through this mess. I chose the former.

I could go on with specifics, but instead will recite just a few general observations made during this 60-minute perambulation:

* Eleven automobiles and one boat trailer were parked across public sidewalks along my route.

* In 10 places, the concrete had worn away to the extent the substrate consisted of loose rocks and gravel. It was like walking in a box of marbles.

* In 12 spots, the sidewalk had buckled to the extent it would be difficult for elderly or handicapped people to navigate.

* In addition, there were eight expanses with no sidewalk at all. It had either worn away totally or never existed in the first place.

* There were five stretches of significant length where grass and weeds had been allowed to encroach to the extent that much of the concrete was overgrown.

* In one spot, there were two large black garbage bins totally blocking the walkway.

* In 11 spots, it was necessary to duck under (or walk around) low growing tree branches, and in 31 areas shrubs had been allowed to proliferate to the extent it was impossible to walk two abreast.

* Add to this six piles of fresh dog poop, and the death defying act of crossing both 12th and 13th streets (how about a few crossing lights to slow down the much ballyhooed speeders?) and you have your basic one-hour walk in my neighborhood … as well as the reason I usually drive for about six miles in order to walk for about three miles along the river.

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